I had a house, a freehold house and I sold it and with the intentions of buying another house, but most of it went in the pokies, so… I put a minimum deposit on another house and lost that as well. At its most extreme it was all about the pokies, my morals went out the door. I didn’t even think about looking after my children properly. I couldn’t think about paying bills, I couldn’t think about anything but the pokies, so they just took over my whole mind and I lost everything And I couldn’t help myself, I just didn’t want to leave. If I could I would’ve been there all day, all night Oncasinogames.
I know they’re very addictive and I know that they’ve got a very strong hold on people and I hear it in the groups that I run. I hear people that don’t have problems like divorces and things like that going in with friends after work, playing a little bit and then leaving and then going back the next week, playing another five dollars and before they know it, they’re in there all the time with a fully blown addiction I am an artist, before this life. it was a way of expressing myself and another way of healing as well and remembering quotes and feelings through the art work. I would never have seen myself in that position ever, ever. I can’t believe that’s me even. I’m even embarrassed today, and sometimes still ashamed that I did that for ten years. I was ready to stop from the beginning but I couldn’t stop. I would, I remember saying today no, not going to go, not going to go. I’m in the car not going to go not going to go. I’m in the car park no, no, no not going to go, and I’ve got the coins in front of me and playing. And I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, too ashamed to tell anyone. It was a nightmare. When I stopped playing the pokies I came to a group called Pokies Anonymous which was a 12 step program, and I just stopped because I was ready. Don’t ever go there. Don’t even put a dollar in. They’re not fun. They’ll become your worst enemy. It took me ages to understand that I can’t win because I thought I was a winner, even in that delusional, knowing full well I’ve lost everything. But I really understand it now. You just can’t win, you never win. It’s been nearly seven years since I’ve stopped and sometimes I look back and I think why did I do that? Why me? What happened? How come? but the fact that I’ve stopped playing and helping others is, is a miracle anyway. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened. And I’m completely there for all my family.
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